Letters To The Past
by Orchestra-Eight
Summary: Rachel's twenty now and life is hitting her hard. Will a visit from the past heal her, or will she lose what shes already lost a second time?
1. The End

**THIS IS WHAT THE FIRST CHAPTER IS SUPPOSED TO BE! SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE! :)**

**Chapter One: The End**

_Hello Finn..__ Thursday, July 31st, 2014_

_It seems as though I don't know what to say, which as you know is an oddity for a person such as myself. The words don't seem to be forming the way they used to Finn, and I'm not sure that it suprises me really. Ever since you left all that fills my mind is confusion, chaos...maybe even some doubt. Yes doubt, I sometimes doubt you ever felt anything for me, some times I wonder if you thought I was just a good lay, or a challenge, and thats all you required of me. Sometimes, I feel used, like a toy you played with and when you became distracted by something new and shiny, I was just thrown to the side only to be completely discarded of later. I sometimes contemplate what would have happened if you hadn't left that summer, hadn't left me all alone. But, I figure since you hadn't returned any of my letters, maybe, just maybe, I was right. I dream about you you know, those nights. I know its wrong because you were. You were wrong in stealing a piece of my heart like that, but you took until their was no more to take, and just threw away all the pieces of me. It hurts you know, even more now that you're gone, you're not coming back. Someday I hope I can love again, the way I once loved you. Your father would be so proud of you Finn. Just as I am. I love you so much._

_Love,_

_Rachel_

As Rachel sealed the envelope a single tear escaped her eye. She stilled for a moment, contemplating the fact that this man still had this effect on her could still make he fall to pieces in an instant. This man, she hadn't seen since he up and left her at the tender age of 18, and she knew he would never be seen by her again.

She brushed the wetness off her dark porcelain skin, and returned her dark glove to her hand as she rose from her mahogany desk. She walked towards the door, stopping only to pull on her heels, and walked outside to where her 1 year old daughter Amane was waiting. She smiled at the young girl, being held up by one of her grandfather's strong hands. Another tear escaped her eye at the sight of the child who had become so much like her father_. Strong, sweet. She even had his cheezy, lopsided grin. Her name suited her perfectly. Sound of the heart. Just like her dad's singing. The dad she would never know..._

Rachel's father pulled her out of her dazed state before he could see her erupt into tears for the fifth time that day. "Rachel sweetheart, are- are you ready to go?" His voice was uncertain, yet calming. She smiled up at him, she was sure it wasn't even close to reaching her eyes, she was strong, just not that strong. "I'm as ready as I'll ever be..."

The large field was dimly lit, the clouded sky only occasionally revealing patches of vague sunlight, the gloominess of the situation only seeming to make the scene appear more depressingly beautiful. Rachel sighed quietly before pulling on the silver handle, releasing the door from the dark car's clutches. She sat still, almost stoic, for a second, before placing one shoe on the soft dirt road, soon to be followed by the other heel clad foot. She rose slowly, contemplating wether she had the physical and mental strength to keep her upright, or sane for that matter. She soon decided that wether it was there or not, she had to do what she had to do. She had no choice even if she had no strength.

Amane, being only one, didn't fully understand the seriousness of the situation, but resolved to take her mothers hand. Amane smiled at her mother as her action caused a small smile to fall upon Rachel's lips. She felt pleased in comforting her mother even if the upturn of the corners of her mouth lasted only for a brief period of time. Slowly the pair continued on to their destination, both saddened and clueless in different ways. Rachel's father following close behind.

Rachel sat numbly on the cold metal chair, watching the people around her, moping and crying with no shame. Rachel was done with crying, she had cried for the past 5 weeks and she was done. At this point all she was, all she felt, was just uncomfortably numb.

As flowers and tears were shed into the dark hole, Rachel had become empty of emotion. She had seen a few of her friends from school, but avoided their gazes like the plague, too afraid of the words that seemed to be lingering on their tongues. After everyone but the grave digger had left, Rachel reached into her pocket to pull out a small envelope, sealed and stamped to deliver. She raised the thin paper to eye-level closing her lids and imagining her old life and the one she had planned. As she let the small white paper tumble into the hole at her feet, she feel a small weight being pulled off her shoulders. She smiled down at the letter to the coffin's inhabitant, before she turned and walked away. She could hear the sound of shovel hitting dirt and turned for a second to stare at the resting place. "Goodbye Finn," Rachel murmered under her breath, a small tear slipping down one cheek before walking towards the dark car and placing herself inside it. _And she knew he would never be seen by her again..._

When Finn had enrolled, in the summer of 2012, Rachel had been everything but okay with it. She had never expected Finn to be the fighting type, he was too soft, sweet, and she had told him so in her spout with him, fighting his decision in anyway she could. She even begged but he had pleaded with her that his decision was right, that he was a leader, that she had taught him that. He told her that he wanted nothing more than to help people, to protect them, to protect her. Rachel had softened at the intensity in his voice, still disliking his decision, but no longer fighting it, she didn't want to fight. She knew that there was no way he was changing his mind, and she was done with wasting time. They had spent that whole summer together, frivolously enjoy every moment they had left together before he was gone.

When Finn had been deployed a week after finishing boot camp, Rachel was not prepared for her fear, her _dread. _She had never been sure that she could be okay with being a soldier's girl, but she would do it for Finn, she had to, she loved him way too much. The fact that Puck had joined along with his best friend and had been assigned to the same company as Finn had assured her, if only slightly, that Finn would be safe. Those two boys would fight to the death for each other, no matter what had happened. She started getting nauseous, and figuring it was just nerves, let it pass. After 3 months ofit, Rachel was worried, to be safe, she had taken a test. _She was pregnant._

Rachel smiled at the memory, if only for a short time. Her daughter had pulled her from her thoughts, the cries reaching from the small yellow room into the seemingly empty house. Rachel stood, quickly running to her daughters room, padded feet against hardwood. Her mind shifting to panicked thoughts. "Mae? Mae? What's wrong honey?". "Mommy" Mae cried, holding her arms out for a hug. She pulled her daughter into her arms, holding her until the crying stopped, stroking the almost black hair that she had gotten from her father. Suddenly Rachel and Mae both jumped, startled out of the seriousness by a knock on the front door. Rachel decided that she had had enough of interruptions for the day, but raised herself to her feet to answer the door anyways. A muscular man, about six foot four stood on her doorstep. His face was grim, she noticed, but it was difficult to see as it was turned towards the floor. His shaved head seemed bare compared to what she was used to seeing in its place. Although it had been many years, this man was unmistakably familiar. He turned his face upwards towards her as she pulled the large oak door open. "Hey Rach," he muttered, the rasp in his voice indicated that he had been crying, his voice so quiet that it was almost a whisper. Rachel held back tears of her own as she greeted her friend. "Hello Noah."


	2. A New Beginning

**So I've decided to make this only a two shot, beacuse between schooland stuff i just don't have time. I personally loved the way i ended it, although i wish i didn't have to. Thank to the people who have been patient for this, and i hope you enjoy the ending. Please review and tell me whether or not you liked it.**

* * *

"Please. Come in." she muttered, moving from the doorway so that the large man could come through the door. "I'm sorry that the house is a mess but I've been a little off since…" she didn't need to finish, the silence was understood but both of the adults. Noah didn't bother to ask how she'd been, she figured it was because he knew, but she didn't linger on it too long. Rachel decided that maybe she should get to the point, "Noah why are you here?". For a few moments he just stared at the ground, obviously contemplating his answer, and when he looked finally ready to give it, his eyes jerked towards the doorway to the kitchen, glazing over when he noticed what was there.

Rachel turned, he face blanching when she realized that the small girl in the doorway was unknown to both Noah and the small girls father, who would now never know her. Noah just stared for a moment until he gathered the strength to talk. "Is that…?" he started, the rest of the sentence never leaving his mouth. Rachel understood the implications though and glanced up at her old friend. "Yes," she said quietly, almost whispering, " she's Finn's." Rachel then walked over to her daughter, picked her up into her arms and brought the small girl over to Noah, who looked even more on the verge of tears. "This is Noah sweets," she said to Mae, who looked up at the large man with amazed eyes, "he's a friend of mommy's." The small girl then looked into Noah's eyes, and seemingly understanding the tears that began to flow there, she reached out her arms as if waiting for a hug. Noah seemed happy to oblige. He lifted the little girl gently from Rachel's arms, causing the brunette to smile. He balanced her on the hip that he was leaning on, and smiled back at the one year old before brushing the tears off his face.

" She's beautiful," was all he said before walking into the living room and taking a seat, placing her on his lap. He began to play with her almost black hair, twirling the short locks between his fingers and staring at Rachel's little girl as though she was the answer to all of his problems, and the more she though about it, she decided that maybe she was.

She turned towards the kitchen, almost feeling as if she was intruding on a private moment, before Noah's voice stopped her. "Rach," he spoke, "Can I stay here for a little while?". She headed back to her spot in the hallway before turning to gaze at her old friend. "You stay here for as long as you want Noah. I'd love to have you around," she muttered, "and it seems as though I'm not the only one." She nudged her head in the direction of the Mae, who was gazing up at Noah with a huge smile on her face, her tiny hands gripping his uniform pants. He smiled down at the girl, one of the first genuine smiles she's seen on anyone in a long time, and she knows she made the right decision. When she hears the soft thank you as she leaves the room a second time, she smiles for the first time in years.

The weeks pass by in Rachel's eyes, full of small moments, yet no matter how small they are, they're unforgettable. Noah doesn't leave, he takes up residence in the guest bedroom next to Mae's and is always the first to run and check on the small girl when she cries. Rachel thinks its because he's holding onto the last piece of Finn he has, but she doesn't linger on it too long. Over the passing time Rachel learns that Noah was discharged after shrapnel from the shell that killed Finn pierced through most of his right hip, causing movement to be more difficult. She cries when he tell her, because she realizes she could have lost both of them, and he holds her until she falls asleep.

Rachel decided to resume her job in August, as much as she loved sitting at home with Mae and Noah all summer, she knows she has to get back. The next three months are the most exhausting of her life, even though the company was well taken care of while she was gone, she still has a lot to catch up on paperwork wise. Her secretary smiles at her a lot, and Noah and Mae come to visit for lunch, even though it physically pains the soldier to walk the eight blocks to the building. He always smiles when he comes though, the little girl attached to his hand like he's her lifeline, and she can always find it in herself to smile back.

The next thing Rachel knows it's been five months and its her baby's second birthday. Rachel has to work, but smiles when Noah volunteers to throw Mae a birthday party. She almost stays home to make sure he'll be okay, but he chuckles a little and tells her to 'get her corporate butt to work'. When she comes home later to complete silence she almost panics, but when she glances in the living room towards the couch and spots five small children curled up fast asleep against a half awake Noah, well she can't help but grin. He smiles drowsily at her, and mutters a "Hey Rach. I had fun." before falling asleep. She almost doesn't have the heart to call the kids parents to pick them up but decides that she has to, first though, she needs to find her camera.

One day in July, approximately a year after Noah showed up at her door, the two of them are sitting on the back porch, watching Mae run around the back yard, chasing what appears to be a butterfly when Noah asks her. Rachel turned to look at him, shock spread across her features but a small smile tugging at her lips. He smiles back at her, repeating his question a second time. "I wanted to know If you would marry me." he states, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world, "I mean you don't have to" he adds, he gaze going back to the small girl on the lawn, "but I know I love you and I sure as hell love her." He glances back up at Rachel, his cocky smirk, that has become so much more of a genuine smile since his high school days, still plastered on his face. "So what do you say?"

Five months later, Rachel watches her little girl walk up the aisle ahead of her, tossing orange lily petals on the floor. Through the thin lace of her veil she watches the small girl run up to Noah and hug him before she runs to stand beside Sarah, Noah's sister and her maid of honor. She glances from side to side and notices all the friends from her Glee days she hasn't seen since the funeral, and she smiles at them this time, a genuine one. And when Noah turns his attention towards her, a smile curling on his lips and he takes her hand to lead her towards the Rabbi, she knows that she'll never forget Finn, because she see's so much of him not only in their daughter, but in his best friend.

**The End.**


	3. Comments to Reviews :

Dear faith.

I am absolutely confused by your review because you said Finn is a dirty blonde. He actually has very dark hair, a blackish brown.

Love Kaity

Thanks for the reviews everyone. Keep 'em coming!


End file.
